Let's Get Ethical*!

I wanna get ethical, ethical!
C'mo-ooon let's get ethical!

President Bush has ordered White House staff to attend mandatory briefings beginning next week on ethical behavior and the handling of classified material after the indictment last week of a senior administration official in the CIA leak probe.

According to a memo sent to aides yesterday, Bush expects all White House staff to adhere to the "spirit as well as the letter" of all ethics laws and rules. As a result, "the White House counsel's office will conduct a series of presentations next week that will provide refresher lectures on general ethics rules, including the rules of governing the protection of classified information," according to the memo, a copy of which was provided to The Washington Post by a senior White House aide. WP

I'm saying all the things that I know you'll like
Making good conversation
I gotta handle you just right
You know what I mean
I gave you a good story tip
Then outed Wilson's wifey
There's nothing left to talk about
Unless it's marked "Eyes Only"

Let's get ethical, ethical
I wanna get ethical
Let's get into ethical
Let me hear that secret talk, that secret talk
Let me hear that secret talk

 

*sung to the tune of Olivia Newton John's Let's Get Physical

Wanted: Looking for a Leader

Large first world nation seeking leader

Well established first world nation seeking leader to run country, and help re-establish international reputation. The United States of America is seeking a new leader. Contract term variable, four and eight year terms available, depending on performance. Energetic, detail-oriented individual with a proven track record preferred. Must be willing to seek and take advice of others. People, project, resource, & budget management exp. required.

Experience or familiarity with U.S law, policies and procedures related to the Geneva Conventions, and/or common human decency, international law and diplomacy, and 3 years supervisory experience desirable. (1)  No idealogues, please.

Some travel involved, must relocate to Washington DC. (2) Past record of employment will be scrutinized carefully.

The successful candidate must have the following provable qualities:

• Integrity
• Honesty
• Experience in domestic issues, willingness to learn about foreign policy issues. (3) 
• Must be able to read and write in the English language. Additional languages helpful, but not required.
• More than 3 books in your personal library.
• Experience trouble-shooting world-wide hot spots and diplomacy a plus.
• Must be a team player. (3a)
• Must be able to put aside personal agenda, and stick to the facts.
• Ability to work well with others, including but not limited to: the UN, NATO, OAS, WTO, Fraternal Order of Squirrels, World Bank, NWS, Red Cross, Congress, CNN, Democrats, and Girl Scout Troup 121. (3b)

Is responsible for the overall defense & management of a large territory and population, stretching from sea to shining sea, and from the northernmost border of Mexico to the southernmost border of Canada. Some additional isolated areas such as Alaska, Hawaii, Guam, & Puerto Rico will also come under your territory of responsibility. Ask in cartography for specific locations of ancillary lands.

Main priorities include: world peace, health & welfare of American citizens,  economic stability, environmental responsibility. As a world leader, you will also be expected to apply the same standards of peace, health, welfare and environment to citizens of other countries that you apply to your own.

Large budget and workforce. Defense, Interior & State Departments, flag, motto, and fight songs provided. Homeland Security, Health & Human Services, Education Departments, enviromental condition & economy need work. International treaties in place, others to be negotiated.

The successful President will appoint others to positions within the government based on their qualifications, excluding other criteria or methods. (4) 

The successful President will set goals for the country and its people, and leave the internal management of other countries to them. S/he will improve conditions for its people and environment, in all areas including economic, social, scientific, and global.  (5)

This is a full-time position, but requires availability to respond outside of normal working hours.

Must swear to defend and uphold the Constitution. (6)

Benefits: Salary; perks including home and company-provided transportation, personal staff; four weeks of vacation per year, but only two may be taken consecutively - other two weeks must be taken seperately. Security clearance. Sick days pending. (7) Social Security benefits. (8) Secret Service protection for life, or five years, whichever is less. Wide-spread media coverage, and possibility of really cashing in economically and reputationally on your success after you leave office. Groupies a possibility.

(1) No, torture is not ok, neither is fabricating a case for warring on your neighbors.
(2) Must actually stay there some portion of the time, too.
(3) No "lone cowboys", please.
     (3a) Repeat that.
     (3b) Repeat that.
(4) Please see dictionary definitions for personal relationships & gain, cronyism, and nepotism.
(5) Basically, bub, leave the place in better condition than you found it, not worse.
(6) That doesn't mean change things around a bit to suit your needs.
(7) No sick days provided, until National Health Insurance has been provided for all. Sorry.
(8) Available at a rate not to exceed those offered to other citizens. You really are one of us, now.

 

[Permission to forward granted with attribution and source link only.]

Where's the outrage?

>> Are we so apathetic that we cannot work up outrage at being lied to, repeatedly?

Many are, yes. Many are also still deluded by the administration's lies. Ask the guys in maintenance if they think Iraq ought to be nuked in retaliation for 9/11. Yes, I know, but just ask.

>> torture... Have we, indeed sunk so low as to consider that these things are allowable

Apparently so. The Pentagon supports it, the CIA supports it, and the White House supports it. They hide away the prisoners, hide away their shame that they not only condone it, but arrange it, by having prisoners technically held by other countries who do not prohibit it.

>> The crime isn't in the mistakes, though, it is in allowing, in continuing to allow, our elected officials, many if not most of them, to continue to act in this fashion.

The media has been cowed or lulled into relative silence for 5 years. They're finally starting to wake up, but it took a hurricane to do it.

>> Where is the moral outrage at the lies and manipulation?

Here. In the blogs that were created as a foil to the media that failed in their fourth estate duties. In other places where liberal voices, and voices that prefer the truth can find to refuse to be cowed by the crooks who've taken over Washington and thrown god and sparklies in the faces of the people they're supposed to be serving - and protecting.

It's in Cindy Sheehan's protest, and the anti-war protests in Washington and other cities around the country.

It's in the action of Democrats fleeing Texas rather than being forced to vote in a crooked redistricting plan. It's in Ronnie Earle's indictment of Tom DeLay, and in Fitzgerald's of the fully grown man with the name of a child - Scooter, the VP's chief of staff.

It's in the lawsuit by the library that's protesting provisions of the Patriot Act that prohibit it from even saying who they are, and that they object to what they're being ordered to do.

It's in people like Richard Clarke, the former head of counter-terrorism for 3 presidents, including Bush, who stood up and said, "That's a lie."

It's in those so-called "activist judges", who are in our Honor Thread, who have stood up to the Bush administration and said, "No, you can't do that. All citizens have the right to legal council, to be charged with a crime or released, to a fair trial, to not be held indefinitely."

It's in organizations like Moveon.org, the ACLU, the Electronic Freedom Foundation.

It's in the broken voice of Ray Nagin, desperately crying, "We need help here!" as he watched his city drown. It's in the voices of the media and the people who said, "No, Brownie is NOT doing a heck of a job. Fire his ass!" It's even in Michael Chertoff, who listened.

Oddly, it's in the voices of the conservative Republicans who said, "Harriet who? She's no Supreme Court justice. Not on our watch."

It's in the voice of former POW and current Senator John McCain who said quite clearly, "No, torture is never ok, and I'm going to codify that. We're better than that, even if I have to remind you of it."

Where it's not, is in a single united voice in the Democratic Party. A united voice that could "throw the bums out."

There's Absolutely No Evidence...

There's absolutely no evidence...
... that George Bush once persuaded Harriet Miers to remove "American Bandstand Watusi Dancer" from her resume.

George Entertains Hurricane Refugees

It's Tuesday, August 30th, and your Prez is right there in New Orleans, playing and singing to entertain the multitudes that are sheltering in the Superdome.

George chose a set of cheerful, uplifting songs, including "American Pie" and "I'm So Glad We Had This Time Together."

Here, he and Senator McCain were seen at their Monday afternoon "Hurricane Party." No one had the heart to tell him that Glendale, AZ wasn't in the path of the storm. 

More From The Eleventy O'Clock News

The National Association of the Press (NAP,) the Old NewsGuy Network (ONN,) and the Freedom For The Press Foundation (FFPF) have joined together to create and require of all "real journalists," and their confidential sources, what's being referred to in some circles as the Fourth Estate Escape Clause. The new "Keep Me Free"™ confidential source agreement, now required of all tipsters, will indemnify, protect, hold harmess, and allow grand jury testimony for any journalist who publishes information to which they should not have been privvy, should have kept to themselves, or which violates national security, but for which they get nailed by the Feds. Anonymous sources will be required to sign the document, and have it notarized and signed by two Witnesses*, so as to protect their journalist "mouthpieces." The mega-convenience store chain, 7-11,  has agreed to provide notary services at a discounted price for the "Keep Me Free"™ initiative.

White House Inside-Outer, Karl Rove, has agreed to act as administrator for the initiative, and to release the identity of any confidential source who refuses to sign. This will be accomplished by virtue of the time-honored tradition of "leaks" through the administration's "Robert Novak" persona.

Every major news outlet in the country, both print and broadcast, has agreed to sign onto the "Keep Me Free"™ initiative. "Bloggers, need not apply," since they're "not real journalists" according to a statement released by the NAP-ONN-FFPF consortium.

© 2005 The Eleventy O'Clock News, where "nothing is real."

*See Wikipedia entry

The Eleventy O'Clock News

Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-NY) (EX) has officially entered the Hot Coffee fray. This morning in Washington, the junior Senator from New York said she was calling on the Federal Trading Card Commission to "take immediate action to determine if the source of graphic pornographic content appearing on the Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas video game and accompanying trading cards was the work of Lewinsky-like individuals, and/or Ken Starr."

Clinton joins the Entertainment Software Rationing Board (ESRB), The National Institute on Mooing and the Farm, and the Australian government's Office of Flim and Liturgical Classics (OFLC) who are all seeking to determine if the "Hot Coffee" is being served with or without bagels, in violation of the game's users' agreement.

Read The Eleventy O'Clock News, where "nothing is real."

On Gravity Cats

I'm working on a theory. It began to form in this morning's yellow dawn. You know the one I mean - when the sky is all a pale shade of yellow, filtered by high clouds. No cool orange or pink, just that weird golden glowing yellow. Maybe it was the sleepiness, maybe it was the glowing atmosphere, maybe it was just the extreme relief of making it to the bathroom just in time.

I think that my cat is stealing my gravity.

I had a bad day two days ago. It was hard to walk. My specific and personal gravity seemed about 20% higher than normal, which was just enough to throw me over the edge. Everything ached, and any position other than prone on the couch was nearly impossible. Okay, so I'd worked 15 hours already by that point. I didn't do anything different than normal - only one or two trips out to production during the day, not the 5 or 6 that can really lay me low on a busy day. So there I was, lying on the couch, trying to get up enough energy and reverse this gravity increase enough to go upstairs to bed. Generally, Max, my Maine Coon cat, will jump up, and lay himself out on me full length. He doesn't sit in laps - absolutely refuses. But if I'm lying down, he plasters himself, from my knee to mid-chest, stretched out, and happy. Night before last, he just looked at me when I invited him up. Odd. I never did go upstairs that night, I ended up staying on the couch, because it was, frankly, just so much easier. 

Yesterday, I was fine, mostly. Gravity was back to normal, I didn't ache, and I was movin' pretty well for an old gal with crunchy knees. I could still feel the residuals of the gravity increase from the day before. I knew that at any time, things could reverse, and I'd be right back where I was.

So that brings us to today, and you're probably wondering why I think that Max is stealing my gravity. This morning, I hobbled down the stairs to use the bathroom. I hate the one upstairs - it was built under the eaves of the house, and it's TINY! This morning it was a race whether gravity was going to win, or I was. As I passed the window in the pantry, I saw Max stretched out full length, standing at the window to let me know he'd endured the indignity of spending the night outside, and that I should let him in immediately. Too bad, cat, gravity's taking over, I'll get you in a minute when I'm finished!

Now, I have this bad habit I should mention. I tend to not close the bathroom door all the way when I know that no one's around. I dunno, it's just something dumb I do. Hubby's upstairs sound asleep, and won't be up for another hour. Son's in his room, sound asleep, and believe me, nothing will get him up until sometime after 10 a.m. this morning. So I'm essentially alone in the house, or so it feels. The cats always take advantage of this opportunity of open door and sitting person to come and greet me, and say good morning. Remember, Max is a Maine Coon cat, so yes, he really does say good morning. Real words - honest. Just ask Cane - she'll tell you.

In comes Tessa the kitten to say her good mornings. She rubs against my legs, arches her tail way forward, receives her pats, and then she wanders off to see if there's any water dripping in the shower she can play with. In comes Max, who stalks into the room, rubs against my legs, and rather than saying good morning as is his usual, just gives me a backwards glare as he struts out of the room.

Wait.

Max is outside. I left him at the pantry window, with promises that I'd let him in in a minute. It's been less than that. There's no way to get in the house, no open windows without screens. Hubby's still upstairs - I'd hear it if he'd gotten up. Son's still in his room, sound asleep. There's no one else in the house. If there was a way in, Max would have used it before, instead of standing at the window demanding that I let him in.

Damn cat. He must have stolen my gravity the other day, and used it to get in the house this morning. And this time, he let me see it, just to taunt me.

Where's my Heinlein books?

Beside the Asides

Did you happen to see "Biography" the week they did "bios" of TV game shows? Vanna White wasn't the first letter turner, and certainly not the most interesting.

Though I can't find any mention of those shows on the Biography site, (which, btw, seems now to have bought out the www.biography.com url from the former owners, which is probably best, but I thought it was really nice of them to always have a link to it anyway down in the corner,) this being the internet, where everyone has a fan page, you can read about Susan Stafford and Chuck Woolery here. (This site, btw, was created by a moderately interesting young guy that seems to be involved in game show development and television production, but graduated with a BA in Economics from Harvard. His chatty blog is well-written, and fun, though since I watch so little television, I'm clueless most of the time about his subject matter. No matter - they guy went to Harvard, and is a writer, and his natural abilities show through.)

Check Susan Stafford's "resume" page on her website for a list of accomplishments. MA & PhD in clinical psychology, public relations, motivational speaker, acting, writer & producer, hosting (7-1/2 years as the cohostess on Wheel of Fortune, as well as radio shows, and guest host shots,) and charity work. No telling how many times she was married, but once to a Texas millionaire, for a few years to Dick Ebersol (the TV sports producer guy [married to Susan St. James, whom I always loved to watch on tv] that was in a plane crash here in Colorado four months ago; his younger son [and the pilot and a flight attendant] was killed - they named a ski slope after him, "Teddy's Way"... ) but that didn't turn out so well, she pulled a gun on him, and well, you know how husbands are about that sort of thing.

Aside from how *many* things she's done, the part I find most interesting is her "Goodwill Ambassador to the World" title and work. Who gave her that title? Who knows... but it looks to me, like this is one accomplished lady. Working with leprosy patients, counseling WTC and Columbine survivors and families, supporting research into AIDS & sickle cell anemia.

This is no vapid "letter turner." But... I'm sure Vanna does all that she can, poor girl.

<g>

 

The 7/8 Solution

I have the solution to 7/8 of the political turmoil in this country.

Damn, you say! Could Fortuna actually have a decent idea?

Will this be the knob on the Tardis that finally makes me vote for her as Supreme Ruler of the Galaxy?

You see, it's not the fact that Democrats are a bunch of kumbayahs, it's not the fact that Republicans are assholes, it's that we're trying to force 33 pounds of shit in a 30 pound box. That extra three pounds has nearly been the death of us...

The solution, Fortuna, the solution! Get with it, and stop with the homilaic metaphors! Or whatever that's called.

We don't have a two party system in the U.S., we don't even have Democrats, Republicans, and Independents. Or Green Partys, or Socialists, or whatever. We have a three party system, and it's time to stop lying and kidding ourselves about it. It's time for voters and politicians to be honest about who they are, and what they want.

This, then, is the real answer, the solution to the deep strife, the wedge that's being driven between what used to be a reasonable system, and reasonable people:

The Christian Right Wing Party do-di-do-do-duh-do-do-di-do... (think Jeopardy singing in your head...)

Hmm... ok, so silence generally means, "Fortuna, you're full of shit, but I'm too polite to tell you so."

And here I thought that either my brilliance at figuring this out, or my dimwittedness at only now figuring it out would elicit at least a sneer or two.

It's not the Democrats that should be pissed off at the deep political split in this country, it's the Republicans. And it's not the Democrats they should be pissed off at, it's those who've hijacked their party - the X+> (Christian Right.)

• Since when do Republicans believe in government interfering in people's lives?
• Since when do Republicans believe in a central government overriding state's rights?
• Since when do Republicans believe in crippling national debt, or giving up their individual freedoms?

Are we on the verge, then, of a swap of ideals?

Trembling in Anticipation

Sometimes, you find something online that makes you tremble with anticipation of hours of delight. This blog entry from Fictionalart just did it for me:

The New York Public Library has unveiled a browsable, searchable online image trove that includes hundreds of thousands of images - illuminated manuscripts, historical maps, rare prints and photographs, posters, drawings and plenty more.

Toy Fair: Delusions of Childhood

What's hot at New York's annual toy fair? Well, Barbie of course, who goes Hollywood this year, but...

If Barbie isn't your daughter's cup of tea, she might appreciate Serpentina, who has a pierced lower lip, pet cobras named Ted and John Wayne, and a strong dislike for the smell of burning hair.

Serpentina is part of the Bleeding Edge collection of 12-inch Glam Goth Dolls, all dressed like trashy vampires, retailing for $24 each. Her friend Storm O. Misery offers this tip on meditation: "I sit in the middle of an electrical storm and channel my dead pets."

Meet Serpentina Maria Sangria from the Bleeding Edge line of Glam Goth Dolls. (Bleeding Edge)

I think Wednesday Addams would be fond of Serpentina - especially if she could add more piercings at will. Or, how about this little gem from Strugglez (I can see why they named their company that - they be struggling for a decent concept...)

Meet Puddles and Ca-Ca and Poo-P, three of the newest potty-training assistants. They're mascots from the Strugglez product line to help your kid graduate from diapers by transforming your toilet into a bunny, giraffe or puppy dog.

Each $20 potty pal comes with an animal head that fits over the toilet tank, complete with floppy ears, a smiling face, bushy tail. Puddles, Ca-Ca and Poo-P promise to be there when your little tyke hears nature call.

ABC

There are advantages to having teenagers. :)

The Gigapxl Project

Physicist Graham Flint is working on an ultra-high-resolution portrait of America -- a series of gigantic, gigapixel images taken with a custom camera made from bits and pieces of decommissioned Cold War hardware. Armed with a self-designed camera he crafted from parts of spy planes and nuclear reactors, Flint is crisscrossing America, taking thousands of pictures of cities, monuments and national parks. Wired.com story

Link to the Gigapixl Project website & gallery.

He said, he said, he said, he said

The saga of Ward Churchill. Read all about it. What he said that got him into such trouble, what he said in response to media reports, what the Governor of Colorado said, what the Chancellor of CU said. Churchill really does try very hard to "justify" his writings.

Finally, I have never characterized all the September 11 victims as "Nazis." What I said was that the "technocrats of empire" working in the World Trade Center were the equivalent of "little Eichmanns." Adolf Eichmann was not charged with direct killing but with ensuring the smooth running of the infrastructure that enabled the Nazi genocide. Similarly, German industrialists were legitimately targeted by the Allies. It should be emphasized that I applied the "little Eichmanns" characterization only to those described as "technicians." Thus, it was obviously not directed to the children, janitors, food service workers, firemen and random passers-by killed in the 9-1-1 attack. According to Pentagon logic, were simply part of the collateral damage. Ugly? Yes. Hurtful? Yes. And that's my point. It's no less ugly, painful or dehumanizing a description when applied to Iraqis, Palestinians, or anyone else. If we ourselves do not want to be treated in this fashion, we must refuse to allow others to be similarly devalued and dehumanized in our name.

Governor puts just the right amount of "moral outrage" into his letter to Republican alumni.

All decent people, whether Republican or Democrat, liberal or conservative, should denounce the views of Ward Churchill. Not only are his writings outrageous and insupportable, they are at odds with the facts of history. The thousands of innocent people - and innocent they were - who were murdered on September 11 were murdered by evil cowards.

Chancellor strikes just the right note of "due process."

Even as the debate continues, we must understand the serious nature of actions to terminate or suspend a professor on the basis of conduct that includes political speech.

Before such a decision could be made, the University must observe due process as required by the U.S. Constitution and the Laws of the Regents. We must have faith in our processes to guide our actions in the most thoughtful and equitable manner.

Therefore, today I announce a course of action that will provide due process, as well as help us understand the boundaries of our most fundamental protections as citizens and faculty members.

Within the next 30 days, the Office of the Chancellor will launch and oversee a thorough examination of Professor Churchill's writings, speeches, tape recordings and other works.

The purpose of this internal review is to determine whether Professor Churchill may have overstepped his bounds as a faculty member, showing cause for dismissal as outlined in the Laws of the Regents.

Of Saints & Scarecrows

Tell me that L. Frank Baum didn't see this painting at least once in his life! Sano di Pietro (Italian, active by 1428–81) Saint Anthony Abbot Tormented by Demons, ca. 1435; Tempera and gold on panel, 18 11/16 x 13 1/2 in. (47.5 x 34.3 cm) Yale Art Gallery

Floral Erotica

Artist Katinka Matson has taken scanner to nature, and created something of infinite beauty. Look at the thumbnails, pick one, then go deeper by using the enlarge link. You'll be amazed at the depth of color & beauty. Floral erotica.

For contrast, here are white Calla Lillies taken with a standard digital camera by Philadelphia photographer Greylensman. 

Five Calla Lillies by Katinka Matson 

From the Facts & Fancies File

This is about as fanciful as it gets. Eleven Moons Realty. Yes, it's an entire page of banner ads. But, look closely. The rest of Bryce artist Frogspot's site is well worth an hour of your time.

The Destruction of Cities: Babylon

WARSAW (Reuters) - Poland's defense Ministry has denied charges that Polish troops in Iraq had damaged the site of ancient Babylon, one of the world's most famous archaeological treasures, while using it as a military base.

"Neither Polish troops, nor any other troops under Polish command, ever carried out any projects violating historical monuments or causing their devastation," defense Ministry spokesman Colonel Piotr Pertek said on Sunday. "Our soldiers never engaged in any efforts to strengthen the security of Camp Babylon without consulting Iraq's monument preservation authorities."

The statement followed a British Museum report alleging that U.S. and Polish troops had caused "substantial damage" to the ancient city during their combined 21-month occupation of the site. Scotsman

Was it damaged? Possibly. Regrettable? Certainly. But... the facts of life are that you can't preserve anything forever. Babylon, the former site of one of the reputed seven wonders of the ancient world - the hanging gardens of Babylon - isn't immune to occupying armies, plagues of Texas locusts, erosion, or infidels.

During the reign of Sennacherib, Babylon underwent a constant state of revolt, which was only suppressed by the complete destruction of the capital. In 689 BC its walls, temples and palaces were razed to the ground and the rubbish thrown into the Arakhtu the canal which bordered the earlier Babylon on the south. (Wikipedia entry)

Babylon has been occupied by Cyrus the Great, Alexander the Great, and defaced by Saddam Hussein - he had his name inscribed on bricks on the site, as well as having part of it rebuilt. (Which itself horrified archaeologists.)

Oddly, I ought to feel outraged about this, and I don't - yet. I remember being furious at the destruction caused by the Taliban of ancient sites in Afghanistan; in Cambodia, where ancient temples were destroyed by the Khmer Rouge; the destruction of Belgrade during the 1990's, and the purposeful and deliberate bombing of the Stari Most Bridge in Mostar, and I was outraged at the U.S's failure to plan for, and prevent looting in Iraq when we started this war. But this? Incidental damage of armies? No outrage. Now, if the Polish and U.S. armies were being accused of driving their tanks down the ancient streets, and deliberately plowing down walls or deliberately destroying the Gates of Ishtar, then I'd be pissed, and will be calling for their heads on silver platters. I guess we'll see.

Could the Polish and U.S. armies have done more damage than was done by the "excavations" that were done by archaeologists up through the 1930's, or the armies of Alexander? Cities - even archaeological ones - are evolving things. Not living, but evolving to the politics, religion, and people around them. They rise, they fall, and sometimes they're defaced or destroyed.

Dr. Darko Radovic postulates that the cities of Yugoslavia, "were attacked and destroyed because they were cities, because they embodied the pluralist, cosmopolitan, inclusive culture that ridiculed the narrow particularism and xenophobia of nationalistic exclusiveness." If that holds true for the destruction of armies world-wide, and it makes sense that it does, then our armies in the middle east need to take heed. Commanders in the field need to educate and control, and not allow their troops to destroy ancient sites in lieu of destroying the "enemy." It just doesn't help, and tends to piss off the people.