Large first world nation seeking leader
Well established first world nation seeking leader to run country, and help re-establish international reputation. The United States of America is seeking a new leader. Contract term variable, four and eight year terms available, depending on performance. Energetic, detail-oriented individual with a proven track record preferred. Must be willing to seek and take advice of others. People, project, resource, & budget management exp. required.
Experience or familiarity with U.S law, policies and procedures related to the Geneva Conventions, and/or common human decency, international law and diplomacy, and 3 years supervisory experience desirable. (1) No idealogues, please.
Some travel involved, must relocate to Washington DC. (2) Past record of employment will be scrutinized carefully.
The successful candidate must have the following provable qualities:
- Integrity
- Honesty
- Experience in domestic issues, willingness to learn about foreign policy issues. (3)
- Must be able to read and write in the English language. Additional languages helpful, but not required.
- More than 3 books in your personal library.
- Experience trouble-shooting world-wide hot spots and diplomacy a plus.
- Must be a team player. (3a)
- Must be able to put aside personal agenda, and stick to the facts.
- Ability to work well with others, including but not limited to: the UN, NATO, OAS, WTO, Fraternal Order of Squirrels, World Bank, NWS, Red Cross, Congress, CNN, Democrats, and Girl Scout Troup 121. (3b)
Is responsible for the overall defense & management of a large territory and population, stretching from sea to shining sea, and from the northernmost border of Mexico to the southernmost border of Canada. Some additional isolated areas such as Alaska, Hawaii, Guam, & Puerto Rico will also come under your territory of responsibility. Ask in cartography for specific locations of ancillary lands.
Main priorities include: world peace, health & welfare of American citizens, economic stability, environmental responsibility. As a world leader, you will also be expected to apply the same standards of peace, health, welfare and environment to citizens of other countries that you apply to your own.
Large budget and workforce. Defense, Interior & State Departments, flag, motto, and fight songs provided. Homeland Security, Health & Human Services, Education Departments, enviromental condition & economy need work. International treaties in place, others to be negotiated.
The successful President will appoint others to positions within the government based on their qualifications, excluding other criteria or methods. (4)
The successful President will set goals for the country and its people, and leave the internal management of other countries to them. S/he will improve conditions for its people and environment, in all areas including economic, social, scientific, and global. (5)
This is a full-time position, but requires availability to respond outside of normal working hours.
Must swear to defend and uphold the Constitution. (6)
Benefits: Salary; perks including home and company-provided transportation, personal staff; four weeks of vacation per year, but only two may be taken consecutively - other two weeks must be taken seperately. Security clearance. Sick days pending. (7) Social Security benefits. (8) Secret Service protection for life, or five years, whichever is less. Wide-spread media coverage, and possibility of really cashing in economically and reputationally on your success after you leave office. Groupies a possibility.
(2) Must actually stay there some portion of the time, too.
(3) No "lone cowboys", please.
(3a) Repeat that.
(3b) Repeat that.
(4) Please see dictionary definitions for personal relationships & gain, cronyism, and nepotism.
(5) Basically, bub, leave the place in better condition than you found it, not worse.
(6) That doesn't mean change things around a bit to suit your needs.
(7) No sick days provided, until National Health Insurance has been provided for all. Sorry.
(8) Available at a rate not to exceed those offered to other citizens. You really are one of us, now.
